I see your point. But it costs hard work to get a vassal slot.

And also some people become vassals so maybe later on they can join their order.

I'm a vassal and i'm not content on my lord. In fact the contact of my lord is so we build a better army. Also protection . But by becoming vassal you can become stronger.you can build up yourself and a lord could help you do that. I don't think you lose your integrity or your a wimp or anything like that. But i guess its a matter of opinion

Also this game is too fun to quit. And i pursue to be strong. Right after i became a vassal i sent 10 campaigns and captured a city. If anything a lord can give you help or to do something. Its not that your relying on the lord but their both relying on each other. A sense of teamwork. But hey thats my opinion.

